I have just finished jury service. I had no idea what to expect after I saw the summons. I was told it would involve boredom and stress. Boy, was that accurate! Obviously I am not going to reveal details of cases or trials but this short period of civic duty had such a profound effect on me I just had to write it down. I had 2 trials during a 2 week period of service. When not in court you are confined to a juror's lounge and I knew it would be boring but I have never known such an intense boredom in all my life. You have no idea when you will be sent home or what type of case you will be asked to sit on. It starts to get to you after about 5 hours so I can't even comprehend what it must be like in prison when you can't go home at all and this is something to think about when you can contribute to sending someone there.
On the second week I was put on quite a distressing case and I'll leave it at that. I couldn't sleep, I had a poorly stomach just from the anxiety of it. More than that I was just overwhelmed with a sense of deep sadness. A real grief that felt like pure broken heartedness. This might sound like an overreaction to jury service and I couldn't understand it myself. My head said I was being silly and to get a grip but I found myself constantly fighting back tears. Working for charities over the past few years, I've heard terribly sad stories about people's lives. Devastating things that you wouldn't wish upon anyone. But nothing affected me like this did.
My friend Emma did a brilliant sermon a little while ago where she mentioned a line from a worship song, "Break my heart for what breaks yours," and she stated what a dangerous prayer this is. She is absolutely right. I have prayed this many times and during the jury service that is absolutely what God did. He broke my heart for all the people involved and it was overwhelming. I had such a strong sense of compassion that could only come from God, our father. I just knew he was desperate to put his loving arms around everyone involved with those trials and longed for them to know how much he loved them. Just a glimpse of his love and compassion is absolutely overwhelming. It completely broke me in such a powerful way. In showing me his love, it meant I could love them and make the right decisions, knowing that ultimately it is all in His hands and I could just trust Him in that.
It has been tough but I can't praise God enough for His revelations and glimpses into his glory. I can't quite express with words just how mind-blowing it is to have an Almighty God who loves us SO much
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